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陪妻子到农贸市场买鸡,左挑右选后看中一只芦花公鸡

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  • 2021-07-24
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陪妻子到农贸市场买鸡,左挑右选后看中一只芦花公鸡。准备买下时,妻子却指着另一只秃头少毛的公鸡说:“这只好,咱们还是买它吧。” 回家的路上,我问妻子:“都是同样价格的鸡,你为何不买那只羽毛漂亮的芦花公鸡,偏偏选中这只秃头少毛的丑公鸡?”妻子白了我一眼,说:“羽毛再漂亮能顶啥用?毛重的那有净重的肉多?!”

上班路上,忽然有虫子叮得我的脸很疼,我下意识的用力打了一下。回到公司乘电梯遇到一个女同事,电梯里就我俩,她在打电话跟男友闹分手。到了后,她擦着眼泪怒气冲冲的走出电梯,在其他同事诧异的目光中,脸上有个巴掌印的我也走出来了。

由于长得丑,从小没朋友,更别说女朋友了,双十一那晚心一狠。 去开了个房,500块找了个妹子。 欲行男女之事时,妹子开口说:“哥,真不行啊,你放过我吧,我再给你500,你换个人行不。” 一晚上什么也没做,光换人就挣了4000。。。

女同事凑过来说:“昨晚梦到你驾着七彩祥云来看我。”我脸一红:“啊?”女同事:“你还冲我伸舌头呢。”我:“哈哈,我有这么调皮么?”女同事:“嗯,当时你就蹲在二郎神脚边。”我。。。

小时候方便面很稀缺,有次我姑姑来买了一箱方便面,老妈收了起来,我趁老妈不在家偷了一袋藏书包里。那时我和我哥睡一个房间,半夜趁他睡着了我拿着方便面躲被窝里吃,正吃着哥一下爬起来大声说床上有老鼠,老爸赶忙跑过来,一下掀开被子,发现正在满嘴啃方便面的我……

弟弟单身许久家人都很着急,前几天终于相了个合适的姑娘。订婚当天,我爸开车带着我弟兄俩买了好多东西浩浩荡荡的去了女方家。到了女方家后,由于弟弟在里面坐着,我先抱着两件礼物下车了,女方母亲看到后说:哎呦,当初见面的可不是这个,你们这是玩“狸猫换太子呢?这门亲事坚决不答应,你们回去吧。”

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